Missing the mark with good intentions
Some notes on Chad's video, conflicts we accidentally create with the best of intentions, and invitations to share YOUR peacemaking stories with us.
Earlier this week, we shared the first video of Where Peace Begins, where Chad Ford told us about a time when his excitement for sharing a positive message with a woman prevented him from truly seeing her, and accidentally created conflict. This experience taught him a powerful lesson about how to connect with people:
“[It] was not memorization. [It] was not some slick, polished self. It was vulnerability, it was love. It was connection. It was seeing her the way God sees her.”
It is humbling when our excitement or confidence in something good leads us to miss the mark for connection. Have you also experienced conflict in a situation born of your good intentions? We would love to hear and highlight your story. Let us know if you’d be open to us reaching out to interview you.
Below, we share some common ways that this happens.
Falling in love too soon with a solution
Sometimes, we fall in love with how we’re going to fix a problem, and ignore the reality that our solution may not work.
In the early 2000s, the PlayPump was introduced with the goal to provide drinking water to African communities. As kids would play on a merry go round, they would pump water from the ground into a tank for community use. The exciting idea quickly gained worldwide support, receiving millions of dollars and several prominent awards.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work very well. Obstacles with efficiency, sustainability, and the ethics behind relying on children’s efforts were not considered until after 1000+ pumps were installed. The hype around the solution created a blind spot in its ability to solve the problem. The project was scaled back and eventually deemed a failure.
Have you ever ever fallen in love so quickly with a solution that you misperceived the problem?
Intense emotions with little impact
Other times, we congratulate ourselves for having intense emotions about a problem, while doing little to actually help.
Increasingly, Americans consume political content as they would sports, and allow politics to stir up intense emotions. A 2023 Pew Research study that found those who are the most engaged in politics are often the most exhausted and angry. But is this useful towards political ends? Political Scientist Eiten Hersh found in a study that:
“a third of Americans say they spend two hours or more each day on politics. Of these people, four out of five say that not one minute of that time is spent on any kind of real political work. It is all TV news and podcasts and radio shows and social media and cheering and booing and complaining to friends and family.”
Have you ever confused the intensity of emotions around a cause with the ability for impact?
Looking “beyond the mark” of Christ
Sometimes, our excitement about one principle or truth of the gospel can lead us to neglect the purpose, which is to point us to Christ.
Elder Quentin L. Cook shared in his 2023 talk Looking Beyond the Mark that “almost any virtue taken to excess can become a vice.” He added that we sometimes have favored principles or callings that make us feel heroic, while neglecting the more ordinary ways in which we care about each other.
“Some members profess that they would commit themselves with enthusiasm if given some great calling, but they do not find home teaching or visiting teaching worthy of or sufficiently heroic for their sustained effort.”
Have you been looking beyond the mark in your spiritual life?
Share your story
In all of these situations, good intentions can accidentally create disconnection and conflict. If any of your own experiences came to mind, which might help us expand the conversation, we would love to hear about them.
In today's increasingly divided and conflict-ridden world it seems that being a peacemaker should be a requirement. We need peacemakers who will challenge hatred and injustice with understanding and compassion. That will help foster dialogue, and promote healing in places where violence or misunderstanding once thrived. As this article highlights cultivating more individuals who are committed to peace—both in policy and in practice—is essential to creating a more just, stable, and hopeful future for all. Thanks for creating such amazing articles.